Ghost in the Machine


The guy that used to own my phone number has definitely run away from home. My last post was about ghosts, and that turns out to be prophetic, since I do interact with the phantom figure that is the old owner of my “digits.” He haunts me, he’s the ghost in my answering machine. Either that or I’ve picked up the American Halloween fetish and I’ve got specters on the brain.

Things I know about the Phone Ghost:

1) His name is Marcus.

2) Some of his friends call him Mdot. I may refer to him as Mdot in this post, I feel like our cellular connection makes us friends.

3) He is black, I have inferred this through the number of people who call him the n-word, and the fact that they seem to be using it in a friendly way, not in a way that would get them a punch in the gonads.

4) On the 14th of July he nearly won a pair of free trainers. I say “nearly” because two things happened in quick succession. First, I got a text telling Mdot that he’d been selected as “Player of the week” in the Gersh Park game (he had 31 off the bench – alas, this info didn’t tell me what sport the Phone Ghost plays, since I know almost nothing about sports), and that the sponsor was going to send him a free pair of “kicks”. Second, a text popped up mere moments later, shouting “DISREGARD.” I figure in this instance my being the new owner of this number served Marcus pretty well, saving him disappointment. #Silverlining.

5) There is a young lady that fancies the Phone Ghost, she jokes that he has “pretty boy swag” …a lot. I feel a little sad for her, since she’s barking up the wrong cell tower.

6) He knows someone named Jigga, who in turn knows someone called Tiana, who was hoping to buy tickets from Mdot. I guess she never made it to the gig.

7) Jigga calls the Phone Ghost “Brother”… but doesn’t seem to know where he lives.

8) Most of Mdot’s friends greet him with either “Yo” or “What’s good?” I guess Mdot would know what that means.

9) A friend of his called Shalaya had a baby boy. #Congratulations.

10) He has graduated from some kind of education program, his Grandmother left a voicemail congratulating him.

11) He may, on occasion, be rumored to be holding drugs. (His Grandmother does not call to congratulate him on this.)

12) Angelo wants to know his email address.

At first, learning all these things was pretty amusing. Catching glimpses of Mdot’s “swag,” etc. was just a weird, funny annoyance. It’s an odd, human crossing of wavelengths that could well be read into as a celestial message about connecting with people, but that reality just means I check my phone only to be disappointed that the sender doest want to talk to ME at all… Sigh.

However, here is why I think he is missing:


14) His Nana calls and leaves messages asking him to call her and let her know where he’s living and what he’s doing with his life. So, it seems he hasn’t even told his Nana he has a new phone number, and he never calls her. He also seems to have moved house without telling anyone.

So please, Marcus, if you’re reading this: CALL YOUR GRANDMOTHER, she’s worried about you.


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