Lajos Egri says “Drama must not only entertain but teach as well”
I have a pet peeve. Anyone who’s ever asked me for a coffee or gone to brunch with me will have seen it… I like my coffee like I like my life: UNCOMPLICATED. With the exception of Starbucks (which as we know doesn’t count) where my order has more synonyms for sugar than the back of a Coke Zero, I like my coffee black, no trimmings, no twiddly bits. To my endless social discomfort it turns out that’s a lot harder to get than it sounds… I’ll just have a black coffee please. An Americano? Yes, an Americano, thanks. With milk? No, thank you, Black. Sugar? No, thank you. *Moments later* A black coffee arrives… with a small jug of milk and some passive aggressive sugarlumps. Cue me holding forth on how hard it is not to be rude before the caffeine arrives, and coffee gremlins who think they know what you want better than you do… and whoever I’m with rolling their eyes until their retinas detach. It’s ugly. No one wins.
Enter Fortitude. Season 2, Episode 3.
Bartender putting down coffee cup: You want milk?
Dennis Quaid’s character who’s name I forget, in tones of abject horror: What?
B, in tones suggesting Quaid is, perhaps, a little slow: With your Americano.
DQ: You don’t put milk in an Americano. It’s the only one you don’t put milk in. That’s why they call it an Americano. Not a latte, for example, or a Cappuccino.
B: You’re the guy that killed the bear. (Quaid killed some prop teeth glued to the end of a pooper scooper next to a laptop playing Frozen Planet in episode 3.)
B: Coffee expert too. (Ooo, Dennis, handy to be in the arctic for burns like that.)
DQ: You’re welcome.
I don’t suppose this is technically what Egri meant, but fingers crossed some baristas were watching.